More Slimy Insurance Ads

We've all seen the Select Quote ads by now. They're annoying. The woman is always only about 75% of the man's life insurance value (not Select Quote's fault, a reflection of a larger issue). The catch? They all had a friend or relative WHO RECENTLY DIED. How morbid! As for the commercial quality - what's with the stills? If you're paying for airtime, use the airtime. If you're publishing photos, go to print.
Ratings: 1 (low) to 4 (high)
Stickiness: 1
Quality: 1
Hit/Miss: Miss
Overall: 1
Comments: LOWEST RATING AVAILABLE!!

Slimy Insurance Ad

I'm in the market for Health Insurance. I think I'll follow the advise of that annoying infomercial guy for bathroom cleaners: Billy Mays! This is his second appearance on this blog. I think the title clearly displays my thoughts here, but here's what is even MORE annoying about this ad. Billy Mays still doesn't seem to realize usage of an indoor voice. He's very out of market, which - even if ican is a good product, seems incongruent. It looks like he's trying to combo sign / mime the ad to the viewer. A hand gesture here and there often goes unnoticed. Not in this case - it's as though he's doing semaphore.

Ratings: 1 (low) to 4 (high)
Stickiness: 2
Quality: 2
Hit/Miss: Miss
Overall: 1
Comments: Somebody stop this man. Or coach him.

Botox. Tsk, tsk tsk....

Ratings: 1 (low) to 4 (high)
Stickiness: 2
Quality: 3
Hit/Miss: Miss
Overall: 1
Comments:
This commercial, which apparently isn't on the Botox site or YouTube, is pretty horrible - albeit of high quality. It'll be better if I make a list:
Background Music: Express Yourself. Horribly ironic that this tune would be used for an injectable poison used to paralyze facial muscles....which, I believe, is how many of us physically express ourselves.


Poisonous Irony: it's botulism, for chrissakes. It's optional paralysis. Oh, now - we really should take pity on the woman who has no self-esteem and nothing better to do with her time or money than to inject botulism into her face to temporarily reduce the appearance of wrinkles.
Histrionics: Come on, looking at a 40+ aged woman twirling, fake-smiling, and prancing around like a pre-pubescent girl is just sad. Sad and creepy.

In a (sub)class all by itself - Kinoki Foot Pads

Ratings: 1 (low) to 4 (high)
Stickiness: Well, they do generate a bit of web discussion. But stickiness for intent: 1.
Quality: 1
Hit/Miss: Miss
Overall: 1 (I should have a 0 on this scale)
Comments: Laughable. LOWEST RATING POSSIBLE!!

I'll try to refrain from such craptastic product advertisements as this. However, the Kinoki Foot Pads ads are so horribly bad, I just couldn't resist. Besides being utterly ridiculous, the advertisers try to draw a parallel between the body supposedly eliminating toxins through the feet with the way trees absorb and process nutrients: from the top down. Even my neighbor's second-grader knows that trees absorb water and nutrients from their roots up. But, that's a path I don't want to spend too much time on: it's just so long, with so may problems to point out!